Is your dog getting in the way of your sex life?

Mar 18, 2024

There are all sorts of cute videos of dogs interrupting yoga and other activities, trying to get involved in the action. But it’s definitely not as cute when they start interrupting your sex life. What are you supposed to do when you can’t be intimate with your partner because your dog keeps wrecking the mood?

white dog lying in bed covering it's face with it's paws

As pet owners, we love cuddling with our pets. We also love cuddling with our partner or significant other. Unfortunately though, that first kind of cuddling can sometimes get in the way of the second, really throwing a wrench in the intimacy of a relationship!

Masters at Ruining the Mood 

There are all sorts of cute videos of dogs interrupting yoga and other activities, trying to get involved in the action. But it’s definitely not as cute when they start interrupting your sex life. What are you supposed to do when you can’t be intimate with your partner because your dog keeps wrecking the mood? Maybe it’s a room-clearing fart from the Freddo, or crying and pawing at the closed bedroom door, or maybe even jumping up onto the bed right in the middle of the act! In all cases, they are true masters at the art of ruining the mood. Over 60% of American households have pets these days, so I know my partner and I aren’t alone in experiencing this problem.

Four Reasons Why Our Pets Interrupt Our Sex Life

It’s surprising how little information there is online about this problem, and most importantly, what we can do about it! After doing some research, I’ve found there are four primary reasons why our pets may be getting in the way of our sex life:

As is often in life, the simplest answer is usually the right answer. 

1. They are seeking attention 

Most dogs are attention seekers (and let’s be honest, most of us humans are too). They notice something interesting going on and they want to get involved, check it out. Dogs can be pushy for attention in lots of different situations, on the phone or computer, watching TV, not only when things are starting to get hot and heavy. 

2. They think they’re splitting up a fight 

Dog experts report that dogs will often wedge themselves between other dogs in an effort to calm them down when there’s a perceived conflict. Your kissing and hugging with your partner could simply be mistaken by your puppers as a fight brewing! When your dog jumps up on the couch and sits smack dab in the middle of you and your partner right when you start making out, they're just playing peace maker. Make sure and reward them with the Nobel Peace Prize once they’re done of course. 

3. They have an anxious or protective nature 

It’s very common for dogs to be wary and protective when someone approaches their human, especially someone new and unfamiliar. Some overly protective dogs are simply insecure and anxious in general. Unfortunately this is very common with rescue animals who may have had some tough experiences before finding their forever home. This type of reaction is more common when being intimate with someone new rather than someone they’re familiar with, but gaining familiarity with a new partner can take a long time with some dogs! 

4. They’re just curious 

If the house has been quiet for a while, and you and your partner suddenly start kissing and making smacking noises, you'll certainly attract your dog's attention. Freddo's ears may perk up and alert him out of a relaxing snooze. The next logical step of course is to rush in to see what's happening. Maybe the smacking sounds you and your partner are making sound a lot like the kissing noises you make when you’re calling him to get his attention! Whatever the case, he’s coming in to check it out.

 

couple holding their dog close to them

How to Take Back Your Sex Life 

Knowledge is power, and it’s invaluable to know more about why our dogs behave the way that they do. But now, what can we do about it, so we get back to sexy time without having to hire a dog sitter every time? Here are two classic scenarios and suggestions for ways to start managing them more effectively. 

 

If your dog likes to jump into bed and join the action:

First off, if you allow your dog to sleep in the bed with you, it’s important to know that they likely perceive the bed as “their bed” which they should have access to whenever they feel like. When they see you and your partner playing in bed, they want to join in the fun! If your dog regularly hops into bed while you’re getting intimate with your partner, it’s time to train them (with positive reinforcement of course) to get off the bed on command. 

Start by setting up a second safe-space for them in the bedroom, a dog-bed works perfectly for this. When they’re on the bed, instruct them to go to “their bed” and reward them with a treat when they go to their dog-bed. Repeat this training frequently such that treats are no longer necessary, and verbal affirmation (“good boy!”) is all they need. 

Then the next time they jump up on the bed during sexy time, you can simply tell them to go to “their bed” and they bed will be yours again. Providing your pup a healthy chew treat (bully stick, etc.) that can take some time to work through is also a great distraction for them. 

 

Your dog cries and paws at the bedroom door when they aren’t allowed in:

We’ve all tried the simple solution of simply pushing the dog out of the room and shutting the door on them. Though in this case, the simple solution doesn’t usually work. Instead, they end up crying or howling at the door, pawing on it incessantly until the door is opened. The numerous coats of touch-up paint in the hall outside my bedroom can attest this solution doesn’t work. 

Crate training may be a great option to consider for this, especially if your pup has any symptoms of separation anxiety. With patient crate training, your dog will become comfortable spending time alone in their crate. While in their crate they’ll learn it’s time to rest, relax, and be quiet. The crate can be placed inside or outside the bedroom for this. If you and your partner really value alone time, maybe planning the crate training in a different room than the bedroom is the best option for you. 

 

If your dog is getting in the way of your sex life, there are better solutions than only having sex when the dog walker is available! Parents have been dealing with this problem with their children for centuries, and though the solutions with our fur-babies might be slightly different, there are still plenty of options to try. Every dog is unique and the solutions you find that work for your dog may be unique as well. If you’ve got a solution that we didn’t include, please message or comment!